we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
