A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
