fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
