You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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