Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
