You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
