It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
