he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
3 2 1 whiskey
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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