they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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