Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
