And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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