Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
this will be a night to untag.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize