TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
