I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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