some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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