Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
