I hope mine doesn't look like that
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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