Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
