i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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