Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize