would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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