You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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