Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
