If i could tip my vagina, i would.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
