Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
