Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
