I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
