so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
