The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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