I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize