I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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