No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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