we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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