She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
