I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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