I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
