He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
