East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
