I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
