She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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