New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
