there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
