Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
