FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
