Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize