I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
