I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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