I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
