xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
