STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
