so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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