what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
