I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
