I faked an abortion last night.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
