he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
