Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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