he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
