Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
