I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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