So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
