we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
