May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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