Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
