no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
